Three lousy games on Thanksgiving Day, and Monday night’s clash of the titans wasn’t as exciting as billed (unless you were rooting for the Who Dats) but several exciting finishes on Sunday helped offset those disappointing contest. This week offers a number of games that should be close, along with the requisite potential blowouts. Here are my recommendations for Week 13:
New York Jets at Buffalo - This game is actually being played in Canada: the NFL seems intent on exporting lousy football to the rest of the world. Thankfully, this game is being played in English-speaking Ontario rather than French-speaking Quebec because Jets’ QB Mark Sanchez probably doesn’t know the French word for slide. Jets to start include RB Thomas Jones, TE Dustin Keller, and the Defense. Add RB Shonn Greene to the list in deeper leagues. Stay away from Sanchez (Probable-knee) and WRs Braylon Edwards & Jerricho Cotchery. Start the Bills’ Defense, and add QB Ryan Fitzpatrick and WR Lee Evans to the list in deep leagues. Avoid RBs Fred Jackson & Marshawn Lynch and WR Terrell Owens.
Oakland at Pittsburgh - If NFL teams had homecoming games and could choose their opponent, the Raiders would be at the top of the guest list (unlike Michaele Salahi). All should be right again now in Sixsburgh now that the Raiders are in town to end the Steelers’ three-game losing streak and WR Hines Ward has apologized for questioning QB Ben Roethlisberger’s manhood. TE Zach Miller is the only Raider worth starting; leave QB Bruce Gradkowski, RBs Darren McFadden, Justin Fargas (Probable-neck), & Michael Bush, and WRs Louis Murphy & Chaz Schilens on the bench. Steelers to start include Roethlisberger (Probable-head), RB Rashard Mendenhall, TE Heath Miller, WRs Ward & Santonio Holmes, K Jeff Reed, and the Defense. Add WR Mike Wallace to the list in deeper leagues, and substitute QB Dennis Dixon for Roethlisberger if the latter is unable to play.
Houston at Jacksonville - Texans’ Head Coach Gary Kubiak’s Sundays are becoming fairly predictable: watch his team get out to a big lead, surrender big lead and lose game, spend post-game press conference apologizing to everyone with a pulse. If he can’t be easier on himself, he should find a reporter who can be. Texans who will help the team get out to a big lead this week and should be in your lineup include QB Matt Schaub, RB Steve Slaton (Questionable-neck), and WRs Andre Johnson & Kevin Walter. Add RB Chris Brown and WR Jacoby Jones to the list in deeper leagues. Jaguars who will help their team overcome the Texans’ big lead and ultimately win the game include QB David Garrard, RB Maurice Jones-Drew (Questionable-knee), TE Marcedes Lewis, and WR Mike Sims-Walker (Questionable-knee). Add WR Mike Thomas to the list in deeper leagues. If I’ve missed anyone, I apologize.
Tampa Bay at Carolina - Unfortunately for the Panthers (and their slim playoff chances), WR Steve Smith took the term “football” a little too literaly early in last week’s loss to the Jets. The Bucs’ defense has been atrocious this season, but at least their offense is becoming more interesting since rookie QB Josh Freeman became a starter. Bucs to start this week are RB Cadillac Williams and TE Kellen Winslow (Questionable-knee). Add Freeman and WR Antonio Bryant to the list in deep leagues. Don’t start WRs Michael Clayton (Questionable-knee) & Maurice Stovall (Questionable-thigh). The only Panther who should be started for sure this week is Smith. Add TE Dante Rosario and WR Dwayne Jarrett (Questionable-ankle) to the list in deeper leagues. Add QB Jake Delhomme (Questionable-finger) and RBs DeAngelo Williams (Questionable-ankle) & Jonathan Stewart (Questionable-Achilles’) to the list if they’re healthy enough to play. Add QB Matt Moore to the list if Delhomme is unable to play. Got all that? Don’t ask me to draw a decision tree.
New Orleans at Washington - It’s a good thing current Redskins’ Head Coach Jim Mora wasn’t the team’s coach back in the late ’80s; he probably would have been satirized on the late Saturday night TV show D.C. Follies. That show didn’t last for very long, and neither will Zorn. Saints to start include QB Drew Brees, RBs Pierre Thomas (Questionable-wrist) & Mike Bell (Questionable-neck/knee), TE Jeremy Shockey (Questionable-elbow), WR Marques Colston, & K John Carney. Add WRs Devery Henderson & Robert Meachem and the Defense to the list in deep leagues. Leave out RB Reggie Bush (Questionable-knee). The only Redskins worth starting are RB Rock Cartwright and TE Fred Davis. Skip QB Jason Campbell and WR Santana Moss. RB Clinton Portis (O-concussion) will miss at least another game.
Denver at Kansas City - Someone apparently forgot to tell former Texas Longhorn Jamaal Charles that it gets cold in Kansas City in December. Perhaps he should wear a coat while he’s playing. The Broncos also play in the cold late in the season, so they should feel right at home, especially with such accommodating hosts. Broncos to start include QB Kyle Orton, RB Knowshon Moreno, WR Brandon Marshall, and the Defense. Add RB Correll Buckhalter and WR Eddie Royal (Probable-thigh) to the list in deeper leagues. Even if he forgets his handwarmers Charles is the only Chief worth starting. Leave QB Matt Cassel and WR Chris Chambers out in the cold. WR Dwayne Bowe (Out-suspension) will miss two more games.
Tennessee at Indianapolis - You may recall that Titans’ Head Coach Jeff Fisher was heavily criticized during his team’s bye week for showing up at a charity event wearing Colts’ QB Peyton Manning’s jersey and saying he wanted to feel like a winner. After Tennessee’s subsequent five-game winning streak, hopefully he does. RB Chris Johnson is the only Titan who’s a must-start, but add Young, TE Bo Scaife and WR Kenny Britt to the list in deep leagues. Pass on WR Justin Gage (Questionable-back). Colts to start include Manning (Probable-glute), RBs Joseph Addai (Probable-knee) & Donald Brown (Questionable-chest), TE Dallas Clark, WRs Reggie Wayne (Probable-oot), Pierre Garcon, & Austin Collie, K Matt Stover, and the Defense. Don’t start WR Anthony Gonzalez (Questionable-chest) even if he is able to play. Don’t expect Manning to wear a Vince Young jersey to his post-game press conference.
Detroit at Cincinnati - Apparently not satisfied with legally changing his last name, Bengals’ WR Chad Ochocinco now wants a cooler nickname. Perhaps he’ll get one if he offers a $1 bribe to the person in charge of name-changing in his home state of Florida. WR Calvin Johnson (Probable-knee) (aka - Megatron, aka - the man Chad Ochocinco wants to be if he never grows up) is the only Lion worth starting. TE Will Heller is also worth starting in deep leagues. Leave QB Matthew Stafford (Probable-shoulder) and RB Kevin Smith on the bench. Bengals worth starting include QB Carson Palmer, RB Cedric Benson (Probable-hip), WRs Ochocinco, Laveranues Coles, & Andre Caldwell, K Shayne Graham, and the Defense. Add RB Larry Johnson to the list in deep leagues, but keep RB Bernard Scott (Questionable-toe) on the bench.
St. Louis at Chicago - Since nothing else has helped the Rams generate wins this season, perhaps they should turn to Ron Artest for some advice on how to prepare at halftime in Chicago. RB Steven Jackson (Questionable-neck) is the only Ram who should definitely be started this week, but QB Kyle Boller and WR Donnie Avery can also be started in a deep league. QB Marc Bulger (Out-knee) will miss at least another week. Bears to start include QB Jay Cutler, RB Matt Forte, TE Greg Olsen, WRs Devin Hester, Earl Bennett & Johnny Knox, K Robbie Gould, and the Defense.
Philadelphia at Atlanta - The Georgia Dome will play host to a media circus this weekend as The New (if not improved) Michael Vick Experience returns to Atlanta. QB Donovan McNabb may be only the second most “popular” Eagles QB in town this week, but at least he spend the majority of the game on the field rather than the sideline. He’s worth starting, along with teammates RB LeSean McCoy, TE Brent Celek, WRs Jeremy Maclin (Probable-foot) & Jason Avant, K David Akers, and the Defense. Leave WR DeSean Jackson (Questionable-concussion) out of your lineup even if he’s able to play. RB Brian Westbrook (Out-concussion) will miss another game. TE Tony Gonzalez is the only Falcon worth starting this weekend. You can skip the QB Chris Redman experience, RBs Jerious Norwood & Jason Snelling, WRs Roddy White (Questionable-knee) & Michael Jenkins (Questionable-ankle). QB Matt Ryan (Out-toe) & RB Michael Turner (Out-ankle) will both miss the game.
San Diego at Cleveland - Every NFL running back dreams of ending their career in a blaze of glory, scoring the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl, then walking off the field in a blizzard of confetti, basking in the adulation of the crowd. That will not be the case for Browns’ RB Jamal Lewis. Chargers to start against the Browns in their first game of the post-Jamal Lewis era include QB Philip Rivers, RBs LaDainian Tomlinson & Darren Sproles, TE Antonio Gates, WRs Vincent Jackson & Malcom Floyd, K Nate Kaeding, and the Defense. There are no Browns worth starting - that includes QB Brady Quinn, RBs Jerome Harrison & Chris Jennings, and WR Mohamed Massaquoi.
Minnesota at Arizona - Cardinals’ backup QB Matt Leinart must have experiencing deja vu last weekend. You’ll recall that in the 2006 national championship game he guided his USC team to the lead, only to lose to Vince Young’s Texas team in the final seconds. Fast-forward to last weekend. Cardinals’ starting QB Kurt Warner is unable to play due to a concussion, so Leinart guided his Arizona team to the lead, only to lose to Vince Young’s Tennessee team in the final seconds. Speaking of fast-forward, perhaps Vikings’ RB Adrian Peterson ought to press down on the accelerator a little more softly. Vikings to start include QB Brett Favre, RBs Peterson (Probable-ankle) & Chester Taylor (Questionable-ribs), TE Visanthe Shiancoe (Questionable-ribs), WRs Bernard Berrian (Probable-hamstring), Percy Harvin, & Sidney Rice, and K Ryan Longwell. If Warner is able to start this week, he belongs in your starting lineup; if not, Leinart does. Other Cardinals to start include RB Tim Hightower (Questionable-thumb) and WRs Larry Fitzgerald, Anquan Boldin, & Steve Breaston. Leave RB Chris Wells on the bench.
Dallas at New York Giants - Usually when you hear someone in football complaining about not getting enough respect, it’s a player. Only in Dallas will you hear a head coach say that with respect to his owner. Hopefully, someone will ask Cowboys’ Head Coach (for how much longer?) Wade about that at his post-game press conference. Cowboys to start this week include QB Tony Romo, RBs Marion Barber, Felix Jones, & Tashard Choice, TE Jason Witten, WRs Roy Williams & Miles Austin, and K Nick Folk. Giants to start include QB Eli Manning, RBs Brandon Jacobs & Ahmad Bradshaw (Questionable-ankle/foot), TE Kevin Boss, WR Steve Smith, and K Lawrence Tynes. Add WRs Hakeem Nicks & Mario Manningham to the list in deeper leagues.
San Francisco at Seattle - Seahawks’ President & GM Tim Ruskell was fired today, possibly paving the way for former Head Coach & GM Mike Holmgren to pull a Grover Cleveland. 49ers to start in this NFC West matchup include RB Frank Gore, TE Vernon Davis, and WR Michael Crabtree. Add QB Alex Smith and the Defense to the list in deep leagues. Seahawks worth starting include QB Matt Hasselbeck, RB Justin Forsett, and TE John Carlson. Add WRs T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Nate Burleson, & Deion Branch to the list in deep leagues. Keep RB Julius Jones (Probable-chest) out of your lineup even if he plays.
New England at Miami - Every time the Dolphins play the Patriots it must burn them up to be reminded that they once gave WR Wes Welker up for two second round draft picks. Don’t expect Welker to act nonchalant if he makes a big catch against his former team. Patriots to start include QB Tom Brady, RB Laurence Maroney, TE Ben Watson, and WRs Welker & Randy Moss. Leave RB Sammy Morris (Questionable-knee) on the bench even if he plays, and expect RB Fred Taylor (Questionable-ankle) to remain out of action. Dolphins to start against a suddenly mortal-looking Patriots’ defense include QB Chad Henne, RB Ricky Williams, TE Anthony Fasano, and K Dan Carpenter. If you use a roster spot for any part of the Dolphins’ 4-headed wide receiver monster (aka Greg Camarillo, Davone Bess, Brian Hartline, and Ted Ginn), feel free to start them as well in deeper leagues.
Baltimore at Green Bay - Reviews for ESPN Monday Night Football analyst John Gruden are decidely mixed. Some appreciate the insider’s knowledge and perspective that he brings to the broadcast. Some love him merely for the fact that he replaced Tony Kornheiser. Yet some find his eternally optimistic nature and his relentless praise for the players even more annoying than a Jimmy Football commercial. Whatever your opinion of his broadcasting talents (or lack thereof), he’ll have a good game to call this week as two teams still in the playoff hunt square off. The only Ravens who should definitely be started are RB Ray Rice and WR Derrick Mason, but if you play in a deeper league, you can also start QB Joe Flacco, TE Todd Heap, and WR Mark Clayton. Packers to start include QB Aaron Rodgers, TE Jermichael Finley, and WRs Donald Driver & Greg Jennings. Add WR James Jones to the list in deeper leagues. Don’t expect much from RB Ryan Grant, and leave him out of your lineup. Enjoy the game, whatever you think of Johnny Football.
Good luck to your teams this weekend!
Until next time,
The Sherpa
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